Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Releasing expectations

As many of you know, I recently went on another trip to Haiti! What a joy it was to be back. From the outside, perhaps the trip looked much the same from other trips: amazing team, hiked the mountains to do medical clinics, spent time with the orphans and youth, worked around the orphanage, spent time with the locals, and prayed.
However, what was VERY different was the work the Lord was doing in me...

Expectation #1: Co-lead the team, being involved in everything going on.
Lesson learned: Being reminded that I cannot be in all places at once, but God can.

Expectation #2: Become BFF's with team members.
Lesson learned: Haha...ok, maybe not best friends, but close friends. On previous trips, I was able to make some solid connections with many of the girls on the team. I was used to hearing their testimonies, sharing mine and becoming great friends. However, on previous trips, I was single. This time my boyfriend Mike was a part of the team :) I was happy he was there, but didn't realize how 'different' it would be to not be that single person that floats around and gets to know everyone. God was doing a lot of 'breaking down' within me, which caused for me to have to learn that I'm not going to become BFF's with everyone on the team. I still felt like I connected with the ladies...it was just different than I had expected.

Expectation #3: My boyfriend Mike and I would have an amazing, easy-going time.
Lesson learned: Even though we said we wouldn't have expectations of one another, we did! It definitely wasn't an easy trip for us. We learned a ton about each other and ourselves...both good and bad. Thankfully, God's grace was over us and we have since been able to grow in our relationship through this experience together.

Expectation #4: The orphans and youth would be around as much as they have been on previous trips.
Lesson learned: Since the orphans moved to the new orphanage, they are not 'around' as much. I had to make special trips over to see them. I was used to them greeting me with smiles at the compound. Now I was having to seek them out. The youth was also pretty scattered. Some of them were around a fair amount, but most of the time, the compound was pretty bare. (Side note: I think its really healthy for the orphans to be in the new orphanage. They have more of a schedule and don't get disrupted as much with teams coming and going. I believe that overall this is a great move...I just had to go through some personal adjustments)

Expectation #5: We would see some spiritual craziness/awesomeness.
Lesson learned: We cannot 'make' God do anything. In his timing he will heal. In his will he will bring people to him. And perhaps we didn't 'see' anything 'crazy awesome' we still need to believe that it was happening. That all our prayers were being heard and lives were being changed. And that, is the important part. People coming to know Jesus. I was being reminded that we don't need to see to believe. P.S. please pray for this girl that is stuck in a wheelchair in the mountains.

I suppose I could call these 'bigger' expectations the Lord was breaking down within me.
There were some other expectations, however, that were met!

Expectation #6: I would get to spend time with my friend Darline.

Expectation #7: We would sweat.

Expectation #8: We would eat rice and beans...and fish with eyeballs!

Expectation #9: We would share the love of Jesus.

Expectation #10: We would be changed forever.

This boy came to one of the clinics. He probably had a simple wound, but since he didn't get medical care when it first happened, he came to us with a severely infected wound. We take our medical care for granted!

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